My name is Jennifer Vesbit and I’m happy that our paths have crossed. I am a Nationally Certified Counselor, mother of twins, and donor of one frozen embryo who is now a healthy boy. I created this site to offer support and community to others who are considering or have chosen the path of embryo donation. Throughout my journey, it became apparent that there are scarce resources out there for women and men who are in a similar position, whether they are trying to decide what to do with their frozen embryo(s), or are navigating the complex range of emotions that go along with the decision of embryo donation. There were many times throughout my experience that I felt very alone. I wanted to talk to others who knew what it felt like to make the decisions I’d been faced with, and to support me after I made the one that I did.
My journey began about 10 years ago when my husband and I decided we’d love to be parents. After some time, it became apparent that my path to motherhood was not going to be easy. After two rounds of IVF, we were left with one painful miscarriage, the birth of beautiful twins, and one frozen embryo. Once a year, we got a notice from the fertility clinic reminding us that we had a frozen embryo and asking us what we wanted to do with it. We could pay for another year of storage, we could have the embryo disposed of, we could donate it to science, or we could donate to another family. For years I felt too overwhelmed to make the decision, so we kept paying for storage. In the end, and after much soul searching, we chose to donate to another. Personally, if I wasn’t going to try for this baby on my own (which a big part of me wanted to do), I felt a strong need to give to someone else who had been through her own pregnancy struggle. I felt as if all the pain that surrounded my journey to becoming a mother could be given purpose, if only I could try to help relieve someone else’s pain.
I chose open donation and placed an ad on Miracles Waiting because our fertility clinic only offered closed donation. It was important to me to help choose the path of my frozen embryo, and I wanted to choose a recipient who was willing to keep in touch with us if a pregnancy and birth were to happen. And it did. My biological son was born to another woman earlier this year. It has not been the easiest path. It has been simultaneously incredibly difficult and beautiful. I have felt a range of emotions from pride and contentment to sadness and loss and fear. And that is why I’m here and why I created this site.
You’re in the right place if:
- You chose to donate your embryos and are looking for support.
- You have frozen embryo(s) and want to learn more about the path of embryo donation.
- You want to connect to others who have found themselves in similar situations.
- You feel happy, sad, content, fearful, prideful, vulnerable, and/or confident and want to hear from others who may be feeling the same.
- You want to share your story to help others.
Even if you only identify with one of the above, I invite you to make yourself at home, and take a look around with an open heart and mind.